Sunday, October 21, 2007

constricted.

life is jst full of shit.
whn i stay at home,
you wan me to go out.
whn i go out,
you don't let me go out.
thn whn i wna rest,
you ask me to pack my room.
whn i packed my room,
and i wna rest,
you ask me to pack th hse.
whn i wna rest after tht,
you ask me to walk around th hse,
as if thr's a lot of places to walk abt.
thn you scold me,
saying i made lots of lousy frnds,
who only knws hw to ask me out and have fun all day,
and say i nvr study.
whn i say go out and study,
you say why cannot study at home.
whn i bring frnds ovr,
you say why must they come ovr.
whn i wna play mahjong outside,
you restrict me.
whn i bring frnds ovr for mahjong,
you say why play so long late at night.
whn i stay up late,
and i wna slp late,
you wake me up early in th morning,
and scold me for staying up late.
after i work,
i say i go for supper,
you say supper is fattening,
why must i go for supper late at night.


my frnds are not lousy.
they ask me to go out late at night,
i knw i can reject th offer,
bud i want to go.
because they accept me for who i am.
they cheer me up,
no matter hw lousy i feel.
they help me change.
all you wan me to do is to slim dwn,
and wan me to starve to death.
you brought me into this world,
why can't you accept th way i am?
and why do you have to treat me differently frm brother?
why can he bring frnds ovr for mahjong,
until late night,
and go for brkfst,
bud i can't?
why can he go for supper,
and i can't?
why can he stay out late at night,
and i can't?
why can he have a party and hang out with his frnds during his birthday,
and i can't?
you're working,
i'm working too.
why can't you treat me like an adult?
i'm not a kid anymore.
why whdevr he wants, he gets it.
and whdevr i ask for,
i'll get punished for requesting it?
whn i don't ask or request you,
you say why didn't i request.
whn i do request for it,
you say why must i request for this kind of thng,
and not use my brain and think if i shld evn consider it.
you only asked abt my studies,
have you evr asked abt my sch life and frnds?
you tell me frnds are not important,
and focus on my studies.
have you evr wondered abt hw my previous sch life was like?
i nvr complained abt anythng.
i've nvr evr complained abt anythng to you.
you always leave me alone to cry.
and after tht,
i still face you with a smile on my face,
still not complaining abt anythng.
because if i gave you some fckd up face,
you wld blame me agn,
for ruining th mood and all.
whn i get bullied by brother,
and i come crying to you,
you will blame me agn,
for making a fuss out of small matters.
you always wan me to give in to my brother.
i have always given in to him,
and get nothng bck.
i've always been helping him,
and i nvr asked for anythng in return.
so why am i always in th wrong?



you have nvr understood me.
and i hate you.
I HATE BOTH OF YOU.
i can't wait till th day i die.
it wld be th happiest day of my life.

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